Why Do You Have No Shame?

 

There are things that make me wonder, why things like that happen to us? Things that haunt us for a lot of time. The trauma and the after math, was it really my fault?

While I was a young graduate, and I had my first job, I was enjoying my finances, I remember being in the market with my sister, and sometimes alone. I heard comments from people, which still haunt me. As in why would people chose to say such awful things about a woman, who is completely minding her own business?

 I was once shopping, with my sister, for fabric, and the man at the shop was extra friendly. I didn't notice anything off with him until, when I was handling cash, he held my hand. I was SHOCKED! And then an awkward eye contact, he smiled. That wicked smile. Handed over the extra Cash. I took my stuff and left. Funny part is, I wasn't alone.

I don't remember talking about it, with a person. I kept it to myself. I thought about what went wrong. Did I do something wrong to deserve this? What exactly happened. I remained in Shock for a long time.

I now realize, I was a coward, I didn't speak about things, I deemed wrong. And why is that?? Because I kept moving in the same loop. These kind of criminals, know exactly who to hunt, and sadly it's always the most Innocent Girl. 

I lived in fear for a long time. So long, that it became a disease, damaging my gut health and my nervous system. I kept a healthy weight, for a long time. Then people around me started noticing things, but they never really knew the reason. Nobody is smart enough to understand the signs of Harassment. And I no longer blame anybody for not helping me.

I could have spoken up for myself, at that time. I just didn't have courage back then. And when I actually had courage to speak. The men there watched everything quietly. I must say, this incident damaged my confidence beyond repair. We expect men to protect us. And I watched them standing there and listening, and doing absolutely nothing . 

Have things changed? Yes absolutely!! Do I remember my traumas? Yes to that too. I do feel like a different person, if not a better person. Things have definitely changed for me at least. 

Peace

Damsel in Distress.